The Scientists

As I have received positive feedback on these posts on social media, I will share another. There was a period when my eyes remained open despite being outwardly unresponsive. The doctors had me chemically paralyzed. Someone had left the lights on, and my mother saw my eyes “crinkling,” her description. So, nurses administered eye drops to keep my eyes moist. After they had released me from the paralysis and I was more cognizant of reality, my eyes continued to weep. I thank God I can still see. I share those details as a possible backdrop for the impetus of another series of hallucinations or dreams I had while in the hospital.

The bleary world…

I heard a voice saying that my parents were coming to see me. Unfortunately, all I could see were blobs of color. Perhaps a more accurate description is that everything looked to be melting. Thus, something in motion looked like the color left behind by a pastel crayon dragged across a canvas. First, I thought I was going insane. Then I would tell myself that I was not going but had already gone crazy. Periodically, I heard something like a blaring alarm. Unfortunately, I received no respite from this save eventual oblivion. I lost awareness of even my inner world and awoke to another inner reality. Whether or not this was a recurring experience and its repeated trauma has caused this to remain with me, or it was an isolated experience, it continues to haunt me.

Neither here nor there…

A hallucination with a fantasy or science fiction twist also occurred in the context of a parental visit. (My parents faithfully visited me despite driving many miles to do so.) I was in a surreal world with alien-looking creatures. There were people in white coats, but they were scientists rather than doctors. These scientists endeavored to create new lifeforms capable of existing in parallel realities. I must have lived in this parallel world because my situation is what kept my parents away. Suddenly, there was a bit of excitement. The scientists told me that they could bring my parents to me but that I could only have a short visit before leaving the same space. A better way of putting it is that they had to trade places with me.

Therefore, the scientists put me into a position to choose whether I wanted to take the chance that my parents would become stranded in this strange place or if we would remain separated without even a visit. Naturally, I was anxious because I could not make that choice. And then the scientists managed to open a means of communicating. I suppose I don’t have to tell you what my parents said. They wanted to see me, even if it meant taking my place. I felt it selfish but agreed to see them since they were willing. There was a portal off to the side of where I was sitting. Then, a fog began filling the space. My eyes made out shapes in the mist, which were my parents. They came closer to me and embraced me in a hug. We spoke for what felt like hours. And I even recall asking them about the tiny house by the railroad depot.

Presented Opportunities…

If the cold metropolis was my brain’s “save point,” this bizarre phantasm was my “warp zone” to other worlds, a cheat. I put in gamer terminology because it seems most apropos. And to my joy, the scientists had a surprise for me before I left. I could periodically return to this space to visit my parents. I did so. As it turns out, they got to experience a comfortable life. They had “pets” and even fostered some of the strange little beings made by the scientists. I did apologize to them for stranding them, but they told me everything was okay.   

1 Comment

  1. Edith Davis

    So interesting. Thank you for sharing your experience with us…

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